


The Love We Hold

by from_nova



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), brief mention of events from season 4, one of these days I'll learn how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29626917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_nova/pseuds/from_nova
Summary: "Looking back, Eddie should’ve known. He shouldn’t be surprised by the realization that he’s in love with Buck, yet here he is, watching Buck sit on Chimney’s couch with Christopher as he helps him hold Maddie and Chimney’s newborn, Charlotte."For Sunny who asked for the use of the quote, “You made falling in love with you easy that I never realized I was falling" for the event I'm doing for 200 tumblr followers.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 28
Kudos: 312





	The Love We Hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunflower_writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_writes/gifts).



> Thank you for the prompt, Sunny! Hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who helped with this fic 💕

Looking back, Eddie should’ve known. He shouldn’t be surprised by the realization that he’s in love with Buck, yet here he is, watching Buck sit on Chimney’s couch with Christopher as he helps him hold Maddie and Chimney’s newborn, Charlotte. Here he is wondering how Christopher would be as a big brother and how Buck would be as a dad. It all rings in his mind in the tone of “ _ Oh _ ” as he realizes the meaning to that thought. He looks at two of his favorite people in the world and everything he hasn’t paid attention to over the years hits him. He loves Buck.

“He’s a natural,” Maddie whispers to him, shaking him from the sudden shift in his world. He’s not even sure which one she’s referring to and that screams to him too. Too much is moving through his brain right now, but it all equates to love. He glances at Maddie where she anxiously is watching next to him. This is the first time he’s seen her in weeks and she seems to be taking motherhood like most new moms. There’s bags under her eyes and her movements are slow and sleepy, even resting a hand on the back of the living room chair for support, but the grin on her face as she watches Chim return from the bathroom and walks over to the couch. He stands behind it and leans over Christopher to watch as the newborn starts falling asleep with Buck’s finger in her little grasp.    
  
“Yeah, he is.” Eddie answers as he subconsciously stares for a minute. He shakes himself from it though and turns his attention to Maddie. “How’s it been going? I remember the first week home with Christopher. I swear Shannon and I didn’t sleep at all.”    
  
“If I felt okay leaving her with anyone right now, I’d have you and Buck babysit while I took a nap,” she answers with a soft smile.    
  
“You totally could,” Eddie teases knowing the new mother wouldn’t dare leave her newborn with anyone besides Chimney and that would be a stretch.   
  
“Don’t tempt me,” she grins before leaving him to his thoughts as she joins the group. Eddie debates joining them. Buck is looking up at Maddie now with a fond look that someone would relate to a golden retriever, as she pulls one of the chairs to be as close to Christopher as possible. Buck laughs softly as Christopher and Maddie start talking about the baby. Chimney and Buck add in every once in a while. It makes Eddie feel like an outsider looking in and that’s what makes him finally decide to walk over and take the seat next to Buck, who turns to him and grins as he whispers about how Christopher seems to like the baby.   
  
Eddie just nods and gives a soft smile as he watches Christopher cradle the baby. His heart melts at Christopher, so focused on her. He’s keeping his arm against the arm of the couch so he can keep supporting the head. He does really seem to like it all and Eddie’s not really sure what to do with that information as well. He feels Buck’s elbow push into his ribs making him shake his head and refocus. He looks up at Buck, whose eyebrows are pulled together in a show of concern. Eddie sighs and goes to find something to express why he’s acting this way, but he’s saved by Chimney calling his name.   
  
“Eddie! You wanna take your turn?” He asks as Maddie eases Charlotte out of Christopher’s arms.    
  
“I’d love to,” he grins as he gets handed the newborn. She’s unbelievably light in his arms as he adjusts her to sit more comfortably in his arms. He can’t help but notice that her little nose looks just like Maddie’s and the so-brown-they’re-black eyes staring up at him are almost identical to Chimney’s. 

“She’s beautiful. Happy and healthy. You both are doing great,” he whispers, looking up at where Chimney has moved to stand behind Maddie’s chair. His hand on her shoulder as they both gaze lovingly at their daughter. Maddie nods and says a thank you as tears fill her eyes.   
  
It’s not long before Eddie decides to leave and give the couple some more time alone with their newest source of happiness. 

  
\---    
  
Eddie hasn’t left his spot on the couch since Christopher went to bed. He’s been staring aimlessly at the tv with no recollection of what’s been on it as his mind is just full of Buck. Buck, who has become a staple in his and Christopher’s lives. Buck, who has always been there for Christopher. Buck, who is there for Eddie. Buck, who he loves.   
  


All the game nights, trips together, the three of them just having fun echoes through Eddie’s mind. If there’s anyone out there that should join him and Christopher, it’s Buck and in reality, he’s already joined them. He’s already linked to all that they are. He’s right there with them and the thought scares Eddie in all honesty. Buck got this close to them without Eddie even being aware.

His thoughts get interrupted again with the flash of headlights through the window in his living room. He glances up to see Buck’s Jeep pulling into the spot behind his truck. Eddie watches as he turns off the car and before deciding to stand up. He sighs as he rubs his hands against his jeans before standing up to see why Buck’s here at 10 o’clock at night. He’s leaning against the wall on the outskirts of his entryway when the sound of keys jingling plays on the other side of the door. He debates just going and opening it but he needs the couple seconds it takes Buck to twist the key and push open the door to compose himself.    
  
When Buck does step through the door, he jumps at the sight of Eddie. “Eddie! What the fuck are you doing? You scared the shit out of me.” He scolds as he tries to catch his breath while closing the door.   
  
“Says the one who just let himself into my house this late at night,” Eddie shrugs, making Buck roll his eyes and mumble a “Touché.”   
  
“I just wanted to check on you. You seemed… distant at Maddie and Chimney’s,” Buck adds with his own shrug after stuffing his hands in his pockets. Eddie lets his eyes flicker across Buck’s face in the dark room. He has this fleeting concern that screams of course he noticed. How couldn’t he notice how Eddie was acting. Maybe this was easier when Eddie just didn’t know.    
  
“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing to be worried about,” Eddie tries reassuring him while escaping the topic. Buck seems to pick up on his attempt at running away from this and just sighs before teasing Eddie in a way that loosens the tension between them. “That’s an awfully dangerous thing for you to be doing, Eds.”   
  
Eddie lets out a breathy laugh before grinning at his best friend. His  _ best friend _ . If that isn’t a reason enough to keep this to himself, Eddie’s never had a friend like Buck and he isn’t ready to jeopardize that over feelings he didn’t know he had until 5 hours ago.   
  
“Eddie, you’re doing it. Again,” Buck says, stepping closer to him. He’s right in front of Eddie before Eddie has anytime to process what’s going on. 

“I thought we were working on communication,” Buck quips with a bit of a teasing tone. “We’ve been doing great at talking out our issues. What’s so bad that you’re hiding this?”    
  
Eddie feels the deep swallow that goes through his throat as he has to look up at Buck due to the close proximity. “What’s going on, Eddie?” He basically begs, making Eddie’s heart tug and before he even knows what’s happened the words escape his mouth.   
  
“I love you.”

Both of them still as they process what Eddie just said. Eddie tries studying Buck’s face for some kind of reaction and when nothing but surprise is shown back to him, he just closes his eyes and wills it all to go away. He admits it's cliché but his heart is pounding and he just wants to open his eyes and this all has been a dream.    
  
“I’m sorry,” He chokes out in a raspy whisper as he tries to side step away from Buck. His efforts are stopped by Buck’s hand grabbing his wrist and his voice following Eddie’s in the silence. “Why are you sorry?”   
  
Eddie opens his eyes and blinks, stunned at the man in front of him. Buck’s face is only inches from his with a furrowed brow. Eddie looks down at where Buck’s hand is still on his wrist as he responds. “I’m sorry that I said that.”   
  
“Did you mean it?” Buck asks quietly as his grip tightens before letting go completely. His demeanor has shrunk and he’s inching a step back and Eddie’s realized a whole other side of this coming out. Maybe Buck loves him too.   
  
“Of course, I do,” He adds as softly as his nerves let him. It's too late to go back so he’s just gonna try to see where this goes as he reaches out for Buck’s hand. Buck meets his eyes again with a hopeful look tied into his features. A soft grin spread across his face.   
  
“You do?  _ You love me _ ?” Buck echoes in insecurity that Eddie hates to see. It’s been something he knows Buck’s been working on, especially since his parent’s visit, but it's still something he sees haunt Buck.   
  
“Buck,  _ you made falling in love with you easy that I never realized I was falling, _ ” Eddie promises, as he hopes Buck recognizes the value and truth to the words. He watches as Buck’s grin grows and Eddie can't help but pull Buck forward and into his arms. He feels Buck’s arms wrap tightly around him as something wet starts pooling on his shoulder. Eddie squeezes him before pulling back enough to see his face.    
  
“They’re happy tears,” Buck laughs as Eddie reaches up and wipes under his eyes. “I promise.”   
  
Eddie nods and whispers a “I know,” before leaning up the little bit of distance to press his lips to Buck’s. The kiss is far from perfect with Buck’s tears leaving a salty taste to the mess and they’re more focused on the connection and feeling of just being together like this than anything else. When they do part, Buck lets his forehead rest against Eddie’s. Eddie just reaches out to hold him as Buck whispers “I love you, too,” between them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> You can find me @from-nova on tumblr.


End file.
